Chicken Wedding Becomes Chicken Fight


By Melpomene Whitehead, photos by Pruiga Phur


Saturday, June 29, 2002, New York, NY: What was supposed to be a joyous occasional celebrating the nuptials of Chunk and Chove, two chicken hybrids, turned into a raucous street fight that stopped traffic on the busy intersection of Second Avenue and East 11th Street. Yes, feathers were flying, and no coherent story has emerged from the fray.  All this reporter knows is that Chengwin ran off with the bride and surely there will be hell to pay.


Chunk, the offspring of a chicken mother and skunk dad, had been a hellion since he hatched. His mama, Chicken, trying to pick up the scattered feathers of her life, had to put him up for adoption. Shortly after that, Chicken met Penguin, and she had another son, Chengwin. You can imagine how awful Chunk felt upon hearing that his beloved chicken mom had a new son whom she kept. He went ballistic, and the result has been an ongoing rivalry between the two genetic anomalies.


Not much was known about Chunk’s new love, Chove, a half-chicken/half-dove from North Carolina. All anyone knew was that Chunk seemed to be a new man, helping old people cross streets and giving money to the homeless. Love seemed to have changed Chunk. The announcement of their wedding was no surprise, but was a great disappointment to the hordes of women who adore the hunky Chunk.


The wedding party met at Astor Place, amid throngs of curious chicken-lovers and skate punks playing hackey sack. After Chunk did a couple of victory laps around the cube, he led the wedding party to St. Mark’s Church on 2nd Ave, which had been decorated with a red carpet and a lovely trellis of flowers for the event. Chixon, half-chicken, half-Richard Nixon, stood in for Chove’s father and escorted her down the aisle. You could feel Chunk’s delight upon seeing his lovely bride. He literally started jumping up and down, causing his ushers to beseech the guests to stay out of the way of his skunk tail. After only a few moments of the emotional ceremony, Chengwin showed up. His mere presence caused Chunk to freak out. A fight ensued and spilled out into the street, where Chunk was knocked down by his brother Chengwin, who then proceeded to snatch the bride and lead the crowd to Tompkins Square Park. Cake was served, Chove and Chengwin danced, but what happened to Chunk? And was it he who called the police?


Now Chunk is mad and single again. Who knows what will happen next in the on-going saga of this extremely dysfunctional family? Make sure to check out for updates.


Melpomene Whitehead babysits for, and writes subdermal, a monthly entertainment column in the New York Waste.


Chunk arrives at Astor Place .........The groom leads the wedding party to St. Mark’s Church........Chixon awaits


Chunk accepts a gift from a fan..................Chixon escorts the beautiful Chove......This is what it sounds like when doves cry

Chicken fight!........................................Chengwin and Chove lead the hordes down 2nd Ave....The reception