An Homage to Amy

by Mungo

I have this dream. I'm in a car, riding suicide, shotgun, top down, zephyr winds blowing around my hair. I look over at the driver and see a small blonde sprite, a Keane girl come to life, mystery flowing through her slender fingers braced lightly on the steering wheel. Ozzy is on the car stereo. Strangeness is in the air. My life is in those tiny hands, smaller than the rain.

She looks at me, mischeviousness dances in her irises. "How fast do you think we can make this car go, Mungo?" And her dainty foot floors the pedal and we fly.

Amy Poehler, the living incarnation of Eris, is my goddess. She is a member of the Upright Citizens Brigade, an other-worldly group devoted to bringing chaos to a planet drowning in ennui. They also do improv and sketch comedy and have a show on Comedy Central. But don't think that this is all about fun and games! The UCB is conducting a secret experiment using entertainment as a weapon. Against what, I'm not quite clear. I gotta look into that.

Amy plays a bunch of characters on the UCB TV show. Among my favorites are Cassie the Girl Scout, the knife-loving tough girl, and the school bus driver. She also appears occasionally on Conan O'Brien as Andy Richter's little sister!

Anyway, Amy is really cool and wears cat shirts and I secretly suspect that she and I might get along. One day I told this to Henrey.
"Your just as bad as those little girls who think that if they show up at the Mtv studios they'll get married to one of the Backstreet Boys," said Hank in between bites of my breakfast.
"No! That's not true! I just think that I'm a lot of fun, and she's a lot of fun, and we could you know, write skits together. I think I could inspire her with my ridiculous antics."
"You got a point there, mung. You are ridiculous..."

A Poem to Amy

Methinks you truly are a goddess
Thou are likened unto a flower
I hope that I don't make you nauseous
And that Colby isn't dating Matt Lauer.
How I wish that I was like you, upright
But alas I stride on more
Someday you and I will take flight
On Continental number 104
But till that day I watch you on TV
And then I queue up early for your ASSSCat--
The late show because I want to go for free
Did I tell you my brother is called HazCat?
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Wait, I tire, I must hit the hay.

The Amy Poehler page!
Upright Citizens Brigade Theater Schedule
The UCB Internal Communications Board
Comedy Central